Welfare fraud

Welfare fraud is getting welfare when you don't deserve it, whether as an individual or as an organized crime ring. Welfare fraud is a crime, punishable by prison. Don't do it.

Some people engage in welfare fraud by claiming non-existent children. This Wikipedia article mentions one woman who had more than 60 fictitious children. Isn't that incredible? I don't even have 60 real children.


Fake children.
Photo: sleepjunky via Flickr (CC)

Gordon Freeman

Gordon Freeman is a fictional character from a video game called Half-Life. Gordon is the hero of the game. He is a theoretical physicist who kills aliens. He's from Seattle.

Just a couple weeks ago, users of a popular video game website voted Gordon Freeman as "All Time Greatest Video Game Hero." He beat out such renowned heroes as Frogger, Mario, and Bo Jackson from Tecmo Bowl.

I have never heard of Gordon Freeman. But I have heard of Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman would be a good video game hero. He would be a good Pacman.

I have to cut my fingernails.


Don't brood, Gordon Freeman.
Photo: AdinoIsMyFriend via Flickr (CC)

Katy Trail (Dallas)

Katy Trail (Dallas) is a path in Dallas that you can rollerblade or bike or hike on. It follows the abandoned Missouri-Kansas-Texas Railroad line.

The Katy Trail is part of a bigger project in Dallas to replace all the old abandoned railroad tracks with recreational paths. I like this idea. I'm in favor of de-abandoning things.

The project is being carried out by an organization called The Friends of Katy Trail. I support their efforts, but I think they should know that you can't really be friends with a trail. You can like a trail, and you can enjoy using it recreationally, and you can tell it your problems if you want, but you can never really be friends.


Stay off Katy Trail when the giant pees on it.
Photo: Daquella manera via Flickr (CC)

Catamount, Massachusetts

Catamount, Massachusetts is an old village that doesn't exist anymore. In the year 1812, the schoolhouse in Catamount was the first to fly the United States flag out front. That schoolhouse doesn't exist anymore either.

Catamount was abandoned as a village because the people found it too remote and mountainous. Now visitors come to the area when they want to go somewhere remote and mountainous.

A catamount is an animal. Depending on the region it lives in, it can be called puma or mountain lion or panther or cougar. Nowadays, when you say cougar people think of middle-aged women like Demi Moore, who eat younger men. But catamounts eat deer, elk and bighorn sheep.


Catamount feels bad about eating that cuddly sheep.
Photo: muzina_shanghai via Flickr (CC)

Satyendra Nath Bose

Satyendra Nath Bose was a physicist from India. He is most famous for his work on quantum mechanics in the 1920s.

Satyendra Nath Bose was immortalized when they named the boson after him. A boson is a special kind of particle. You should think of Satyendra and his accomplishments every time you think about bosons.


Boson humor.
Photo: willc2 via Flickr (CC)

Ballad of the Irish Horse (album)

Ballad of the Irish Horse (album) is an album released by The Chieftains in 1986. The Chieftains are an Irish group who sing traditional Irish music.

At first I thought "the Irish Horse" was slang for something dirty. But now I think they just mean an Irish horse.


Nostril of the Irish horse.
Photo: Iguana Jo via Flickr (CC)

Chasing Time (compilation album)

Chasing Time (compilation album) was a compilation album released by the '80s progressive metal band Fates Warning. I don't think I know this band.

Fates Warning has inspired me to write a poem. You can read it while you listen to your favorite Fates Warning song. Below is my poem. It's called "Chasing Time (compilation album)".

Chasing Time (compilation album)
We're not chasing time.
Time's chasing us.
But time is slow.
And we are fast.
We will take a big lead.
But then we will take a nap. And time will win the race.
Slow and steady.

Adam Shonkoff


Chevy Chasing Time (compilation album)
Photo: Alan Light via Flickr (CC)

Oregon City class cruiser

Oregon City class cruiser was a class of heavy cruisers in the U.S. Navy.

It didn't fare very well, as classes of cruisers go. They had planned to make eight, but only made four. Kind of like a failed sitcom. But funnier.


Again, no respect for Oregon City class cruiser.
Photo: functoruser via Flickr (CC)

Bell System

Bell System was a giant telephone monopoly run by AT&T from 1877 to 1984. In 1984 the company was broken up into smaller pieces by the federal government to protect you and me. Thanks, Uncle Sam.

Bell System was named after Alexander Graham Bell. He invented the telephone. Thanks, Alexander Graham Bell.

I'd also like to thank Alexander Graham Bell's father and mother for inventing Alexander Graham Bell.

I'm glad there are inventors. Without inventors, we'd have nothing. Nothing at all.


Alexander Graham Bell was made out of white chocolate.
Photo: cliff1066™ via Flickr (CC)

The April Fools

The April Fools is a 1969 romantic comedy starring Jack Lemmon.

Wikipedia just taught me something amazing I never knew. Jack Lemmon was born in Newton, Massachusetts. I too was born (and raised) in Newton, Massachusetts. Not only that, but Jack Lemmon was born at Newton-Wellesley Hospital. I too was born at Newton-Wellesley Hospital.

The difference is that Jack Lemmon was born in a hospital elevator, while I was born in a delivery room. I'm not sure why they delivered Jack Lemmon in an elevator. An elevator would be one of the last places in a hospital I'd deliver Jack Lemmon.


Jack Lemmon trapped under cement.
Photo: Niecieden via Flickr (CC)

Gankyil

Gankyil is a Tibetan Buddhist symbol. It is reminiscent of the yin-yang symbol, but the Gankyil has three elements instead of just two. See a Gankyil for yourself: here.

Three is a very special number. There are three elements of the holy trinity. It takes three legs to make a table stand. There were three bears. Three blind mice. Three wise men. Three little pigs. We each have three arms, three legs, three eyes. There are three days in a week, three weeks in a month, three months in a year.

Three is the magic number. One of my favorite songs.


There are three lemurs.
Photo: Tambako the Jaguar via Flickr (CC)

Rachel De Thame

Rachel De Thame is an English TV personality and gardener. English people probably know who she is. I have never heard of her.

I have heard of gardening though. I've never had my own garden. I admire people who have their own gardens, big or small, from which they get fresh herbs and vegetables to cook with.

Though, you have to be careful what you eat from your garden. Some things can make your belly ache, or cause vomiting, or make you have to put clothes on and leave your garden forever.

Rachel de Thame in gardening robe.
Photo: bobfranklin via Flickr (CC)

Jane Kelly

Jane Kelly is an artist affiliated with the Stuckist art group in Britain, which is an art movement that started ten years ago in opposition to something. I think they're rebellious. I think they didn't like the pretentiousness of the more established art movements in Britain.

Jane Kelly has been involved in some controversy. A few years ago she was fired from her job at the Daily Mail after she made a controversial painting.

Controversy is a funny thing. What seems controversial to you may not seem controversial to me. Controversy exists mostly because people like to have things to fight about. There's too much manufactured controversy in the world. People get too riled up about things other people say or make. I think as long as no one is getting hurt, everybody should just be free to do whatever they want to do.


She makes a convincing argument.
Photo: Colin Purrington via Flickr (CC)

Gnophopsodos

Gnophopsodos is a genus of moth. I broke the Wikibloogia rules. I told myself I would not bloog about an article if it were a stub. But I just couldn't keep gnophopsodos from all of you.

God bless whoever named this moth.


Gnophop on Gnophopsodos.
Photo: ginnerobot via Flickr (CC)

Secondary dominant

Secondary dominant is a type of musical chord used in harmony.

In Harmony 2 was a record I had when I was a kid, and it had "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" by Bruce Springsteen. It also had a song by Billy Joel about an imaginary friend. For a little while I thought Billy Joel was my imaginary friend. Turned out he's a real man.


Harmony.
Photo: deeleea via Flickr (CC)

Grateful Dead Download Series Volume 3

Grateful Dead Download Series Volume 3 was a live digital download of a Grateful Dead concert, the third in a series. The live performance was recorded on October 26, 1971 at the University of Rochester in New York and released in 2005 as a bunch of ones and zeroes.

Who would've thought?


Housefly dead.
Photo: Samyra Serin via Flickr (CC)

Kaiser (lunar crater)

Kaiser (lunar crater) is a crater on the moon. Many of you know about my affection for the moon. The moon and I are good friends. So it's nice to learn something new about it. Thanks, Wikibloogia.

The Kaiser crater has a diameter of 52 kilometers and is 1.8 kilometers deep. It was named after Frederik Kaiser, a 19th-century Dutch astronomer. It's unclear if he also invented the Kaiser roll.

Having something named after you is a great way to live on in people's memories. I have already had a few things named after me, most famously an apple. A lot of people name their children after people who lived before. Like a grandparent.

In summary, if you want to be remembered after you die, you should give your name to a new baby, a part of the neck, a bread roll, or a crater.


Moon.
Photo: Kevin via Flickr (CC)

Roman Catholic Diocese of Ariano Irpino-Lacedonia

Roman Catholic Diocese of Ariano Irpino-Lacedonia is a diocese.

It is a combination of two other dioceses, the diocese of Ariano and the diocese of Lacedonia. They united in 1986 to form one big diocese. It's similar to Michael Bivins, Ricky Bell, and Ronnie DeVoe coming together in 1989 to form Bell Biv DeVoe.


Big bucks, no whammies, stop.
Photo: Dan44 via Flickr (CC)

Run-D.M.C.

Run-D.M.C. was some sort of hip hop group from New York.

Their cover of Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" was on the soundtrack to Ghostbusters II.


Run-DMC inspired an entire generation of hip hop artists.
Photo: Jake G via Flickr (CC)

Dungeon Lords

Dungeon Lords is a fantasy computer role-playing game. It was released in 2005.

The initial release of the game was met with great anger by the gaming community, because of its many bugs and problems. Items would disappear from inventories, key quests would fail, and doors wouldn't work. Many gamers complained that the game should never have been released.

But to me, that's just life. Sometimes items disappear from my inventory. Sometimes key quests fail. Sometimes doors don't work. That's just the way life is. You don't see me blaming video game companies.

I blame God.


This man's door doesn't work.
Photo: Jeff the Trojan via Flickr (CC)

Jules Vuillemin

Jules Vuillemin was a French philosopher who did most of his best philosophizing from the 1960s onward. Jules was first interested in phenomenology and existentialism. Then he got into logic and science. Then he died.

According to Wikipedia, "Vuillemin himself vindicated the legacy of Martial Gueroult." Thank god for that. You'd think Martial Gueroult's legacy would've been permanently tarnished after what happened to him. But, in the world of French philosophy, one can always be reinvented.

I think each one of us has times when we wish we could be reinvented.


No toilet paper.
Photo: steven n fettig via Flickr (CC)